Holy Thirst
December 3, 2025
The Return
In the fall of 2022, I can remember one of my first days back at my child’s school event where I was stepping back “into society” after months of isolation. I had just left the hospital and returned to my family to pick up the broken pieces of our lives, full of uncertainty carrying a weight heavier than we had ever imagined. The wounds of our suffering were raw, the frailty of this life vivid in our minds. Our bonds were tighter than they ever had been before, our faith strong, our future uncertain.
A sweet new friend and fellow cancer survivor looked at me with tears in her eyes. She said,
“I wish I could be where you are again…
…back when God felt so near.” She was 8 years out from her own cancer battle and confessed she was nearly envious of our circumstances. She remembered her very real battle with cancer and the change it brings to your perspective.
She, like all of us, yearned for clarity, rightly set priorities, and a focus on the true, the meaningful, the eternal. This fellow cancer survivor admitted she longed for the time when pain was present, but the nearness of God was so great that it overshadowed the momentary suffering.
God is near to those who are broken hearted.
Blessed are the Thirsty…
Her words remind me of the Beatitudes, where Jesus says:
Blessed are the poor in spirit.. theirs is the kingdom of heaven
Blessed are those who mourn.. they shall be comforted.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness.. they shall be satisfied.
It is those who lack that will be blessed. The last will be first. The hungry will be fed. Jesus’ words about hunger and thirst brought to mind a simple, but piercingly human reminder.
What thirst really Feels Like…
Have you ever suddenly realized you haven’t had enough water that day? Your throat feels dry, tongue heavy and thick. Suddenly swallowing is difficult. Even breathing in becomes a burden as each inhale brings in more stale air that worsens the already parched landscape of your mouth. You feel weak, dizzy, and desperate. All you can think about is the lack and this breeds restlessness and hyper focus on the thirst. All you want (and all your body needs) is a tall glass of water. Your life depends on it, and the expediency of it brings panic.
When Pain Creates a Holy Thirst
I have found that pain can be like that thirst. Pain in the world creates a thirst within your soul for something that nothing in this world could ever satisfy. This is why good and generous God will permit seasons of desert lands in our lives.
We were not made to be content in this wasteland. We were made for Heaven. We were made for complete and utter satisfaction with no lack, no discontent, no confusion, no pain but rather peace, fulfillment, deep joy and eternal abundance.
Illusions That Numb Us
I have once heard a story of children in an impoverished country whose stomachs experienced such pain in their hunger that they ate mud pies to fill their bellies. The caretakers knew mud would not be nutritious nor satisfying for long, but they did not want the children to ache any longer…..so, mud pies it was.
How often do we do the same with the ‘mud pies’ of this world? We forget that we have been offered the manna for today and the water that will make us never thirst again and yet we turn to 30 second reels for a quick dopamine hit rather than turn to the eternally satisfying Word of God. How often do we trade peace in our home for the money focused rat race of this world?
Business for serenity. Money for friendship.
The Gift of Thirst
In 2022, Jesus gave me an incredible gift… the gift of the gospel in my veins and the gift of a deeper thirst for heaven than I ever would have known otherwise. Every moment, I longed for more of him and for others to taste more of him. I became tender and single minded, forgetting what was behind and pressed on toward the goal.
Now, more than three years later, it feels as though I have lost that thirst. It takes me longer to find the tenderness that was cultivated that year. It takes an intentionality to find the silence. No noise, no movement, no agenda, no work, no distractions, just Jesus.
So now I pray, Lord, focus our minds on things above, even when this kingdom of noise is loud. When the roar of the chaos feels overwhelming, tune our lips to sing your praise. Still our restless hearts to find rest in your presence. Purify our intentions and priorities, trusting you with the chaos. Let us see with clarity and wisdom whose world we are living in. All is yours for the commanding. Let us walk in truth.
-Rachel
